A Bungled Murder?
June 15, 2003
Somebody tried to end me today.
You'd think I would be used to this sort of chicanery by now, what with my shining personality, not to mention my legendary ability to hold my tongue whenever someone does their level best to annoy me. But every time this happens, and this is like the third time now, it catches me completely off guard. In my defense, who expects to get ambushed at three AM in the morning, after a ten hour shift?
I suppose it's possible that I may not have been the specific target of this particular boobery, but who knows?
For reference, I had just pulled out of the parking lot at work, when this stupid little green Honda Civic charged me. They were traveling the opposite direction as I, and when they reached the four-way intersection I was stopped at, they swerved at me hard, making a forty-five degree turn at a truly reckless speed, and would have hit me dead-on had I not thrown the car in reverse and floored it.
Sure, they may not have done much damage to my 1982 Ford LTD station wagon, but I didn't know that for sure. And I definitely didn't want to have to get out of my car and beat someone to death for hurting my automotive baby, so luckily I didn't have to find out. I just punched it backwards for about a block or two, and then waited for them to do something. Anything. But they were just idling against the shoulder.
So, I resumed my forward progress, and passed them by, naturally flipping them off as I did so. I mean, c'mon. Anyhow, I was approaching another stop, this time at a 'T' intersection, when I saw a car barrelling towards me from behind in my rear view mirror. Not bothering to observe the stop sign nor activate my turn signal, I coasted right through and made a hard left, only to see that Civic keep going straight.
They smashed into the curb, and then flew down the steep, steep hill immediately on the other side of it. They quickly faded from view, and I probably should have just kept driving, but curiosity overwhelmed common sense this time. Ha ha, this time, he says. Reversing yet again, I made my way back to that last intersection, wherein I saw numerous car parts and fluids that were not there moments before.
I also didn't see the Civic. Apparently, by the time I returned to the scene of the attempted crime, the Civic's occupant(s) had extricated themselves from that heavily wooded hill, and had made their way to the surburban neighborhoods opposite the industrial park I where I currently work. Knowing that this clown wasn't dead, at least, I resmumed my trip home, and made it there a few minutes later.
I'm still confounded by all this, but I suppose that since I'm alive, I should just let it go. I didn't find the guy, after all, so unless it really was somebody trying to kill me specifically, I don't have anything to worry about. And, if it was me they had in mind, their incompetence makes paranoia hard to cling to. That's for you, mister would-be killer, if you're reading this.