Ads: You're Doing Them Wrong.
July 11, 2008
One of the terrible side effects of the fact that, in theory, I work in the field of marketing is that I find myself looking at advertisements a lot more than I used to. Yes, in the previous post I noted various oddities regarding my 'official' job at a 'Major Metropolitan Security Company' (when I'm not bowing out to fight crime in my spandex pervert outfit), but astute readers will note that I do, in fact, have two jobs. Two!
And in keeping with weird, OCD symmerty, I present to you two ads that caught my eye, for completely opposite reasons. The first of these is one that made me stop and laugh for some irrational reason while I was filling up my car a while back. This had already become a painful experience even before $150 a barrel oil (it's not there yet but by God Iran's working hard to panic speculators enough to get it there), but that's not the point.
While grumbling about the price of my $3-something a gallon gas, I turned and saw this ad and simply cracked up. This is what I consider a 'good' ad. Sure I'm a captive audience at QT and it's not like I'm going to be changed any by the ad, but it was a good momentary distraction while I was already in their place and shelling out way too much money for gas to begin with. These days, anything that gives me a chuckle is more than worth the effort.
Now this abortion, on the other hand, is the kind of ad that attracts the wrong kind of attention from me. Strictly speaking, there is nothing in the definition of 'testimonial' that says someone selling you something can't be the one telling you how fucking awesome it is. However, it seems to me that this is completely off the wall stupid. If some random schmuck down the street loves your fucking meat (hur hur), that's one thing.
I'm more inclined to listen to him tell me how unbelievable the damn steak is than the tubby clown that's actually trying to make me buy it. Sure, he may look like he's eating way too much of the stuff, but Christ on a Crutch this irks me. Am I supposed to cave in and buy Baker's steak because the lousy 'butcher' (probably a fake person; see Sony Movie Critics) tells me they're good? Well golly!
At this rate I should buy everything because the seller says it's awesome, and not because of any sort of recommendation from people that don't have anything to gain, save for you know, spreading the word about how great their meat is (hur hur). I can just start buying this used car because I didn't bother to check on what the salesman was actually shoving down my throat (hur hur). Screw you, Consumer Reports. Suck it, Kelly Blue Book.
I see the wave of the future and it is self-testimonials. I am going to have to sell my own company this way - mark my words. I'm going to buy pop-up ads that annoy and irritate that extoll you to GET YOUR WEBSITE MARKETING FROM ME BECAUSE I TELL YOU I AM BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE, YOU STUPID TWIT. Actually, now that I think of it, perhaps there is something to be said for completely insulting the intelligence of your potential clients.
It works for Baker's.