High speed danger photography!
July 26, 2008
For a lack of anything particularly profound to gripe about - well, as much as usual at any rate - I present unto thee my High Speed, High Danger Photography Gallery! As I may or may not have mentioned by now, I have taken to carrying my camera with me everywhere, because I never know when I'm going to see something that just sets me off - in a good or bad way.
This first photo opportunity came up when I was leaving work one day and saw this fellow clogging up one of the two lanes on a particularly small road that leads to the main facility - right after it compresses from four to two. I was annoyed but dealt with it 'cause you know, I'm used to Nebraskans driving like they've got a corn cob wedged up their butt.
But I looked closely as I passed and saw him dozing, along with the sign on his van. So I whipped back, waited for traffic to clear both ways and went for it. With camera in hand, I slammed on my brakes opposite him on the road and snapped a few superfast pictures of him and the peppy sign on his van before the Sarpy County cops got their mitts on me, and breezed off.
My deal with the Sarpy County police is one of mutual hatred I think. I hate them because they're the most corrupt legal 'body' within six states, and used to have a habit of pulling over my uncles and beating the shit out of them because they 'didn't like them in high school'. My much more extended relatives had worse problems with them but eh.
They really are drug dealing scum and deserve whatever they get. And Sarpy hates me because I don't actually live in the county, but only work there. So since I make a point of not buying things there to not support their corrupt asses with my tax dollars, I'm doing my part to make sure they have to fib a bit more to get some ticket revenue in.
I hate dirty cops. So most cops, I suppose. One of these days I'll finally get off my behind and get my proper business going and won't have to work over there, and can give those yokels the proper send off. Well not really. The truly correct goodbye for those corrupt turds would involve a wood chipper, and really, I'm reserving that for other monsters entirely at this point.
But I digress. The whole point was I found the idea of Cox asking for your patience while they nap on the job and screw up your cable in the process kind of priceless. I am easily amused by incompetence, so that one struck a chord. Trust me, I know incompetence - I've had enough of that going for me in my life to see it on sight (I like to think I'm better now, though).
And here I thought I wouldn't be whining about anything - what the heck was I thinking? The second photo I took was one of those spontaneous deals where I just decided that something had to be documented. This being, of course, the ludicrous amount of ludicrous bumper stickers this toastie felt the need to plaster all over his or her car.
There should be some sort of ordinance regarding this kind of thing. I mean, since I'm not allowed to use ordnance on this brand of clown shoe, there ought to be something stopping them. I could swear laws were passed regarding those people with the 'baby on board' big yellow sticky signs on their windows because of the distraction inherent to them.
If common sense isn't going to stop them from plastering up their car with that garbage, perhaps it's time for the law to step in. And don't give me that whole 'freedom of speech' bullshit. Driving is a privilege, and there's nothing in the Constitution that guarantees you the right to drive. So if you want to drive, maybe, take some of that crap off your car?
Beh. Of course once you start some sort of drive like that all the Jesus whores get their panties in a bunch, possibly collectively, after pulling them up from the confessional floor, and cry about how they simply can't continue to practice their faith without having forty bumper stickers that rip off modern memes all over their stupid soccer mom-mobiles.
As for photograph 3? Do I really need to go into details on that one...?
The fourth wasn't all that remarkable I suppose, but it gives one the impression that they're engaging in just a bit too much vice - and that they're not telling us the whole story. Perhaps the person rigging up the sign was really really cold, after all - I mean, check out that snow! I took this waaay back last year - I think on the 29th of January, in fact.
That's right, six months ago you were paying less than three dollars a gallon for gas. BLAM. But that isn't the point, of course (albeit a price point of discussion for another day, perhaps). I just got the feeling that this guy was juiced up on way too much caffiene for his own good when he was setting up this sign. Or maybe a lot of stuff.
Whacked out on nicotine, caffiene, drunk off his ass, yammering into his cellular phone and freezing his balls off - all at the same time. And trying really, really hard to find that last 'N' he dropped in the snow, maybe?
Last not least on my tour of the absurd and bizarre is, of course, a stop at the bastion of Omaha patriots, this curious gas station. I don't actually know what the place is called, but it's situated next to the Quik Trip about... 1/2 of a mile from my house, so I see it often. I don't get gas from them as often as I should, what with me usually hitting QT for a Diet Coke with my gas.
But they're still around. You may or may not have seen these folks briefly in the international press of all things, as they got big-time coverage on some British web sites when people started noticing them last year. Or early this year... I forget. But they're still putting their money where their mouth is, and that's something I can respect.
Agree or disagree with their methods or their advertising, at least they have the balls to put their own checkbooks on the line to make a Point.