So really. Who puts barbed wire fencing around a church?

September 10, 2008

The New Dodge Street (at 4 AM CST)

I went down to the Sprint office earlier today to upgrade my phone deal, at the urging of a certain someone I know (well not just, mind you; I'd been thinking about it for a while now) and of course I cheated on my diet and had me some Bronco's. I've talked about them and their delicious heaven-burgers before but, well I was right there and decided 'what the heck?'

But I now have unlimited texts! All ... two of you with my phone number can throw me texty goodness anytime!

So I was driving from there to the comic book shop since hey, Wednesday, and I saw something both intriguing and horrifying. I was up on 126th and Pacific, one of the more 'meh' parts of west Omaha, when I passed a church. Which is sort of a non-event out in west Omaha, since those stupid things spring up like tumors every half block out there. Lousy Jesus freaks. But the point.

Oh, the point. I had honestly never noticed this before now, as this particular building has been extant for some time. But this church was surrounded by a very large yard. And get this, barbed wire fencing. Now why on earth would a church need barbed wire fencing? Are they keeping priceless solid gold crosses in there? Is that where they hide the kids they molested 'too much'?

I mean, the whole point of a church is to get people in, so clearly the barbed wire isn't intended to keep people out. You can't get donations from people (to avoid having to live in the real world and work for your food) if they can't make their way into the place after all. So it makes me wonder. Is the barbed wire there to prevent parishioners from escaping?

I know church is boring and unpleasant, from the first-hand experience of having a single mom working for Catholics that thought 'bring your kids on Sunday, it'll be a scream!' Not to mention one of my best friends getting married at a Catholic church in mid-July, with no air conditioning, for a grand total of a four hour ceremony - complete with insipid, artificially posed photos.

But come on. If you need to string the barbed wire around the place to keep the gullible from escaping, maybe you should tweak your message just a little. Nitwits. I apologize for not getting a photo, however, to document this. I need one of those and the new Dodge street (mentioned in my last Sprint rant), but have not been quick on the uptake with the camera. Will try to get some 'soon'.

As an aside, it's now 12:30 AM (CST) as I write this. I am oddly motivated to go to the Gym today, for reasons I'm not quite ready to go into just yet. But I've been feeling it for a few days now and am going to go ahead and go. I figure that should wear me out enough to sleep, and if not, I gots some drugs for that. Even if they taste like an ear wax meringue.

firebomb@obnoxiousjerk.com