I'm Lovin' It ™

October 2nd, 2018

I love developing a stress headache from getting so angry that I'm seeing red before I even leave for work.

I love almost dying twice because my onramp to I-70 west is so short and inundated with halfhearted patchwork repairs that nobody else seems to know how to drive on the thing.

I love having my boss' boss constantly roaming around my bench since my boss didn't bother to come in today, glaring at me condescendingly as if struggling to justify having to actually pay me for work - even though the company doesn't pay half of what said work is actually worth in the first place.

I love being driven up the wall by the Tea Party Princess while I work, trying not to stab anyone as she hums some godawful song right next to me as loud as she can for no discernible reason.

I love getting condescending emails from my boss while she's blowing off work, operating under the assumption that I don't know what I'm supposed to do, the giant pile of work heaped up on my bench clearly indicating otherwise.

I love repairing the results of other people's sloppiness for three hours out of my day.

I love my stress headache transforming into a full-blown migraine as a direct result of the Tea Party Princess' obnoxious humming transforming into her singing some insipid song at the top of her lungs for fifteen minutes prior to lunch, apparently because she's so bored that she has to make everyone within earshot miserable.

I love said migraine being further reinforced by the guy who refills the vending machine slamming sodas into the soda machine as loud as he physically can, even though he knows he's not even supposed to be in here until our lunch break is finished, because the room is too small to support the dwindling amount of people that work here and his giant cart full of overpriced garbage.

I love being insulted to my face by Professor Beatshiskids, right before he goes on to hold another sermon for the Tea Party Princess, hovering behind my bench as he does so.

I love a lot, and the work day isn't even over yet.

firebomb@obnoxiousjerk.com