I am the most professional person ever.

January 9th, 2019

Seriously. The most professional professional that ever professionaled.

Yesterday, I regaled you with a tale about my laptop, how it had inexplicably gone missing from where it was perched, and how it was ultimately recovered thanks to decals I had placed on it. Decals that, naturally, were of my own face. Sure, I could have probably fired it up and logged into the thing, thus proving it was my device, but the stickers seemed much more effective to me.

Anyway, the reason I have these decals, these Sticker Selfies ™, is that we recently purchased a vinyl cutter at home. This is an object that Brenda is going to use to produce, well, stickers. She's selling these online, and has already made several sales. I indicated a few days ago where you can acquire her home-made, Made in America products, but if you've forgotten, here it is again.

You can see the first product produced with this tool here. Neat, eh? And more are coming soon!

Mind you, there are no Denny stickers featured in Brenda's store. For one thing, the idea is to get people to hand over their money, not chase them away in disgust. Secondly, I don't think there's that much of a market for Denny stickers anywhere, except perhaps on the Jerk. Because you're here, after all, you must like something about me. Or just exult in my flailing listlessly through life. Either/or.

The Denny stickers ultimately came about because when we first set up the vinyl cutter, I thought we should test it out, to see if it even worked / how it worked / etc. etc. etc. Having no actual stickers ready, Brenda took a quick snapshot of my disheveled, half-asleep mug, did a few seconds of Photoshop magic on it, and before we knew it I had like twenty Denny decals ready to vandalize things with.

The point of all this is that, for some reason, the idea of Sticker Selfies ™ stuck in my head. Seems like that'd be a great product. Expensive, since you'd have to customize a photo in Photoshop ™, run off the sticker blanks, cut the stickers on the vinyl cutter, then ship them out - all without them looking like butt. Unless you're a butt, then I suppose it's right on the money. But still.

Sticker Selfies ™!