Finally finished that Web Marketing Man site. Hoo-rah!
October 05, 2008
So I think I may've blown a blood vessel today due to staggering rage.
I've been a generally happy person of late, and if you've been reading you know why. Despite the fucking horror I'm about to descend into in 2.5 days I am doing much better emotionally. Not almost getting fired from job one due to me having 'people problems' and the like. You know, letting people's bullshit just roll off, since really, they're irrelevant, the unwashed masses.
And then I got the e mail last night, from job two.
This requires some history. And true to form, I'm going to give it to you. Started back in 2000 or so, when I started working in the Internet. See, it turned out the boss had hired his retarded drug-addled cockwhore of a wife, who we will call Telly (a name to protect the 'innocent'; though the name doesn't really apply since she's a grade a cunt *) to do his web site marketing stuff.
And she was getting behind because, as it turns out, it's hard to keep up with the marketing on an entire company's large portfolio of web sites when you're busy spending all the company profits on six more pairs of fucking stiletto boots each week. So instead of doing the job I was hired to, which was building web sites with my friend Horn, I was drafted into doing 'search engine optimization'.
So yeah, I'm six years up on most of the assholes doing it now. Heh.
But I digress. So she trains me in the way she does it and that's fine, she's the 'expert' as far as I know, and I start doing the job. Well it turns out she's fucking psychotic. Every single mistake I would make (and hey, I was new, it would happen) she would have a motherfucking seizure and demand that the boss fire me. Every single time. One typo here, one word she didn't like there.
I found out that I could drive the woman into an epileptic fit by simply making use of 'plethora' in a site description.
So this goes on for a good long time and I'm learning as I go and discover that even as far back as when I started learning from her, I was learning wrong. And she was a complete basket case that was probably reading just enough to be fucking dangerous. She knows shit still, but clings on to the way that she did shit back in 2001, even to this day. Why keep up with the times? Beats me.
So anyway, the boss makes a bad business deal with this shit head that owns a car glass company and he basically starts bossing everyone around and making 'executive decisions', and that means I get canned. Or 'laid off' without the benefit of my fucking banked vacation. The poor sales girl he had to can got a fucking six week severance pay. I should have got all dough-y eyed and cried too I s'pose.
So I get other jobs and do other things. 'Cause hey, I need to eat (is tubby, you know). And after a while of shitty temp jobs and failed attempts to use my degree, I get contacted by the old boss, who had divested himself of the shitty business deal. Mostly by an accounting trick where he made a new company and stole all his old clients. And says hey, I got rid of my wife, she's a nut bag.
Am I surprised? No. But he decides he needed a search engine markety guy and wanted to re-hire me, even if I wasn't making what I was before. Or even what 'entry level' markety people make these days. And I'm like, ok, on ONE CONDITION. This of course being that I don't have to ever work with, on, or around that fucking cock-gobbling protruding-rib shit-eating cunt of a now ex-wife of his.
And he says sure.
So things progress and we do our thing and now, on the eve of my surgery, here when I've been busting my ass for this guy for years, what do I get. An e mail at like 10 pm saying if I don't finish the job I'm on now, for a recurring client, he's giving it to the whore bag. I guess he started giving her work for blowjobs or something. I don't know, I don't care, but I know I'm fucking pissed.
And that gave me the impetus I needed. For your viewing pleasure, I give you the one and only Web Marketing Man Dot Com! It's live, everything I needed done in my original draft is now complete. I'll be cranking out a few moar pages as time permits, and probably while coherent during the post-surgery deal... but it's now On.
I got that done because I intend to make a living of it without that asshole, especially now that he's stabbed me in the back. But how has he done this, you ask? Well, see, that hoor will undoubtedly complain about the work I've done on a given site the last month, and hatchet job it to her own specifications. And then when the dust settles, it'll be my job to fix it.
I don't fucking think so. And I'll be telling him that Tuesday. Washing my hands of it, as it were. If I'm not already done.
I was supposed to be writing for it right now but I was too ragey for rationality. We'll see how I do tomorrow. But hopefully by the time I'm undrugged and un-cathetered I'll start getting some 'interest' on the Web Marketing Man site. Particularly since I am undercutting the entire fucking industry with my beautiful works.
But meh, I'm all wore out now. Perhaps I'll work for work later. Or start adding some of my 'optional' pages to the Web Marketing Man. After I give my special someone a ring ring.
As for the image today. I just found that hilarious.
* While I hesitate to use the word 'cunt' in relation to anyone female, in most circumstances, I assure you it applies here.