Sticker Bumpers.
March 18, 2009
One thing that tends to either amuse or enrage me, depending on my mood, is the bullshit people plaster all over their car / truck / motorcycle / oversized station wagon that they pretend isn't a station wagon but call a 'sport utility vehicle' so that they don't feel old or nerdy or whatever. And yes, that was a sort of rambly rant against 'sport utility vehicles' but fuck anyone that owns one of those.
At least, unless they can fucking admit to themselves that they do, in fact, drive a station wagon around. I don't see the fucking problem there, I used to drive one around for years, and I loved that motherfucker. There's nothing cooler than cruising around the country in an old style Ford LTD wagon, 'cause those things were tanks; I can't say how many times I'd been hit by shitty drivers to no ill effect.
Not that I can say the same thing for them.
It's awesome being rear ended by some jackass who doesn't know what a 'red light' means, or one who assumed that you were going to 'run the light' when you were in fact going to drive like the law requires, and watching the explosion of plastic parts when they nail you at 25+ while you're at a complete stop. And then watching them get out and bitching at you like... somehow, it's your fault.
Ah, comedy gold.
What was I saying?
Oh yeah. Bullshit.
For one example, I present to you (of course) a sports utility vehicle that has done wrecked itself up with Jesus propaganda. 'Jesus for Life', indeed. It's too bad that, even if the son of your invisible space boogeyman did exist, he's long since dead now. Dead Dead Dead. He's not just deader than disco, he's deader than, well, Jesus. As is all the faiths that venerate him.
Right here in Ohio, we see evidence of this, with the dirty pedophile Catholics consolidating all their churches, because they simply can't fucking afford to run so many and fend off 3 gajillion sexual assault lawsuits. Your faith, it rots from within, bowing under the pressure of the perverts that you continue to give money to, even though they continue to tell you that you're a bad person.
At any rate. As another example, I give you the fellow here who decided it would be funny to put a sticker on his mini-van that stated that yes, this was a van. I found this amusing because a mini-van is not, in fact, a van. It is a mini-van. Mini mini mini. Yes, you too are living in denial, mister 'Yes it is a van' sticker guy. You're getting old, you have kids, and nobody thinks you're cool.
Sucks to be you.