The Zoo!
June 25, 2009
So yeah, I'm not dead.
I suppose it might be pretty easy to make that assumption, since I vanished from the site for over a month here. But I am not, I have just been... a bit preoccupied. A bunch of stuff going on, you know, like a trip back to Omaha to visit the family and stuff. And a few other shenanigans here which I won't go into, 'cause they're kinda personal and all that. Yeah, me not blabbing, what're the odds?
But I suppose I am going to blab here, if only for the sake of your own, personal amusement. While I was in Omaha, I took a bunch of pictures at the zoo - which my family thought would be a good 'bonding opportunity' or something. I guess I did eat a giant KONG burger as we left, so there was that. Not that I think the idea was for me to get so hungry after viewing tons of wild animals that I needed a pound of hamburger.
Go go carnivorous impulses!
But I figured I'd share a few of these with you. The first three that you're seeing there are a series of pictures that I found especially amusing, because it was one of those things I'd seen in comic books before. I seem to recall it was in an issue of the Punisher a few years back, where the main villain gets mauled by a goddamn polar bear and her arms and legs are ripped off. What does that have to do with these, though?
Well, the dumbass lady in this picture wasn't punching a polar bear to get it riled up, but she was dangling her brood in front of the beastie as if to taunt it. I sadly didn't get the panoramic shot I wanted, you know, where you can see the bear in the distance while the kid there just looks on in googly-eyed terror. Instead, I just had to settle for the slow rotation from one picture to the next.
And I was hoping to see some limbs ripped off here.
The rest of these photos are mostly just things that randomly caught my eye whilst we were in the zoo. You know, animals humping, creepy bugs, and of course a dead ringer for myself. I guess if all else fails and I can't get a job here in Dayton (my not-very-well-paying gig as a nerd commentator on the examiner.com notwithstanding) I can always audition for a job as a gorilla stand-in.
I'm definitely hairy enough.