Have I mentioned I hate X-Mas?
November 9, 2009
So I've been feeling a little off-center the last few weeks. Not quite 'meh' but definitely less than thrilled. Not really 'disturbed' but distinctly perturbed. Not exactly 'disoriented' but absolutely nonplussed. I wasn't sure why I was feeling this general uncertainty about the center of my being, but thanks to the Significant Other, it's all gelled in my head, at last.
The holidays are coming, and I. Fucking. Hate. Christmas.
I used to love xxx-mas. I really did. When I was a kid, it was nice to get random presents now and then, even if we also had to go visit the one aunt who's house always smelled like cat pee to keep up appearances and some shit. 'Cause hey, when you're a kid, toys are awesome and stuff. I have awesome memories of getting an Atari 2600 (even if they were old by the time I got my hands on one).
And I always liked buying the nieces and nephew toys as I grew older. It wasn't about me at that point, though you know, presents are still fun. I liked to make the kids happy and overloading them with toys and gadgets was a good way to do it. Or other relatives; buying a microwave for my sister when she was too busy going broke paying for the house and cars and whatnot, it felt good to make other people feel good.
But I slowly woke up to the cancer that is eating away at society, this ridiculous holiday. It's no longer about friends and family and whatnot, it's all about lining the pockets of some cunt-faced corporate scumfucks who feel the need to start pimping their cash cow even before Halloween. GO OUT AND BUY SHIT, YOU USELESS PUPPETS. GIVE US MONEY SO WE CAN CONTINUE TO LOBBY YOUR RIGHTS AWAY.
You may have noticed, from previous reading, that me and corporations are not on the same page.
Our government spends hundreds of billions of dollars to bail out all these motherfucking irresponsible, short-sighted cockwads, and what do they do? They turn around and give themselves huge pats on the back in the form of ridiculous bonuses. In the real world, I didn't think you got a 'bonus' when you run the company into 'bankruptcy'. Or did I perhaps amble into the wrong fucking line of work?
Oh, oh, oh. And after all this, with the junkets to Las Vegas and various tropical islands and wherethefuckever, these magnificent dirt bags have the gall - the motherfucking gall - to actually spend money they got from the fucking government to lobby the fucking government against making changes to the law that would stop them from causing the fucking messes that required them to take government money to begin with.
And you know, after taking this money from the government, they have the temerity to argue that the government has no business 'meddling' in their affairs. Oh really. Well maybe these fucking short bus cases should have been allowed to fail. Bailing them out despite their being 'too big to fail' doesn't seem to have done a whole lot of good to me, or anyone else I know - or the economy as a whole.
Isn't that what the Republicans are always yelling about - survival of the fittest in the business world?
Oh but wait, these are the same twits who are bought and sold by lobbyists for the financial sector, who clamor against adding regulations to rein these douche bags in, instead wanting 'market forces' to make things better. Because clearly, that's worked for us the last eight years. Them deregulating everything they could get their hands on since 2001 has totally made everything work smoother, hasn't it?
And speaking of unregulated, how's that whole 'insurance' thing treating you? If you're one of half the people in this country who can afford insurance, I hope you've never had anything ever happen to you medically. Ever. Because you know, pre-existing conditions can be anything. 'Oh, you broke your arm in the past? No chemo for you, fuck off. You're a liability to our bottom line.'
Yeah, the same twits who think their deregulation plots have helped this country now want you, the American citizen, to believe that reforming the insurance industry will be bad for everyone. That making it so that insurance companies have to actually cover you is socialist or something. As if making churches tax exempt isn't. But don't tell them that, you just might asplode their brains.
Their tiny, tiny brains.
So while all these fuckwits take money from the corporations to ensure they can continue to rape and pillage you, the jesus freaks keep egging them on. I can't help but find it amusing to see all the motherfuckers who sanctimoniously think themselves better than you because they're 'God Fearing Americans' are so ready to deny everyone else a fair shot at health coverage.
I'm sorry, but do you Fox-brainwasted morons even read your Bible - or do you just skip to the sentence about gay people? I'm pretty sure if your super-heroic Jesus-man actually existed at one point, he'd shake his head in shame since you're so uncharitable towards your fellow man. How is working hard to deny people basic, essential health care a Christian value? Explain that one to me, Republicans.
Similarly, I'm pretty sure your Jesus-man would probably disapprove of you people using the idea of him and what he represents to shill your shitty merchandise. Wait, I died for your sins and you use the occasion to sell a fucking grill, George Foreman? Jesus-man says fuck you. And all you cockmongers who make a living selling x-mas bullshit? You can eat a cock.
I have one for you right here.
Isn't it funny how we can so easily connect everything that's wrong with the world in a small circle? From runaway corporations to jesus freaks, it all converges on x-mas. And make sure you call it x-mas, because Christians hate that more than you can possibly imagine. After all, how dare you denigrate the name of their holiday, for their super-hero god? They're the only ones allowed to do that!
But maybe I should build an x-mas tree this year, to represent how I really feel about your so-called 'holiday'. I should go burn down a pine tree, burn it until it's good and black. Chop that fucker down and drag it into the apartment here. I can see that representing the staggering waste involved in hacking up a perfectly good organism just to celebrate the life and times of an imaginary super-hero deity-thing.
Then collect dozens of baby skulls and hang the motherfuckers from each blackened dead branch. No, they don't have to be real baby skulls, where would we find the time? We can use them to represent all the people who died in the name of the religion that this bullshit holiday is built upon. That's right, jesus freaks, as much as you like to deny it, the Crusades and the Inquisition really happened - on your watch.
Then maybe some rusty chains and a shredded American flag - perhaps to represent a country in bondage to the Lowest Common Denominator.
I think that's an excellent start, for the first annual celebration of Fuckmas. That's a portmanteau, for those of you who don't know one when you see it. I'm tired of your five month marketing campaign to sell me... anything. You're sure as not selling your super-hero God anymore, so why do you twits even keep going with all this? For tradition? Yeah, that's really worked well for you so far.