More detail than you really needed.
January 11th, 2010
I'm sure this is exactly what you want to hear about this fine day, but sometimes it still amazes me when I can pee without undue hassle. For the last oh, seventeen years I've had issues with my pee, namely because my tubes were growing shut repeatedly (something called a urinary stricture, which usually only happens to ninety year olds, or so my urologist told me before he died of brain cancer).
See, it would grow shut, and less and less material could pass through regularly. So it would take ... a while to take care of my business. Since I got tired of losing so much time peeing, usually about five minutes out of every hour on average (depending on my intake of soda), I started trying to multi-task whilst standing over the pot. Or urinal, if this happened to happen while I was at work.
Which is a not so amusing can of worms in its own right. It's always fun having to explain to people why you have to get up every goddamn hour and piss for five minutes. They always assume you're going out to smoke a cigarette or something. And since I was usually bleary eyed at work and half asleep to begin with, I'm sure my co-workers thought I was lit up most of the time. Despite regular drug tests.
But anyway.
What I would do is do some reading while standing there waiting for something to happen. Or brush my teeth or do the mouth wash or take care of other sundry matters that could wait but why, you know? The thing is, after I got my surgery back in October of '08, this has not been a concern. This particular surgery was the 'major' one, when before my doctors just wanted to do the minor one.
While at the time the minor ones sounded better, on hindsight I wish I'd have just done the major one and spared myself 15 or so years of Hell. On the plus side, this one seems to have taken, for I haven't had the slightest issues since recovering from the surgery proper. Well, with peeing, at any rate. There are other issues apparently, but I'll spare you. 'Cause I'm sure you don't want to hear about my randomly sore balls.
But the point of all this, in case you were wondering when the Hell I'd stop horrifying you, is that I still find myself trying to do things whilst peeing. I'll grab a tooth brush and start to go, only to find that by the time I've sorted out the whole brushing while aiming mechanism, I'm all done. With the pee, not the brushing. It's just one of those strange habits I have to break I guess. Not that I'm really complaining.
'Cause now I can apparently pass 16 ounces of liquid in just a few seconds. Which is nice for a change.