Dieting sucks.

September 2nd, 2014

I write this letter in the hope, however slim, that you might some day find it and send help. You see, I am trapped in an strange land, one that is utterly bereft of carbohydrates. In this destitute land, which has never known the sweet, sweet flavor of that which is, well, sweet, I lie twitching and weak, my strength sapped and my energy reserves frighteningly low. Send help. Send vanilla Zingers ™, if you can.

HELP.

firebomb@obnoxiousjerk.com