Good. Bad. I'm the one with the debit card.

January 8th, 2016

Meanwhile, at a local Speedway location...

Last year, I related a weird story about a weird guy who I kept running into throughout Miamisburg, Ohio. This serial beggar was clearly on the drugs, and clearly didn't recall hitting me up for money every few months using the same sad excuse. Well, imagine my surprise when, upon getting gas after work in Vandalia, Ohio, that this happened yet again.

It wasn't the same character this time around, mind you, but he was awfully similar. Nervous looking fellow with neck tattoos who sheepishly asked me for some gas money, so he could get home to Toledo. He says he had money for gas and such, but a surprise repair requirement on his automobile had stranded him and his wife in town. But at least she wasn't a pregnant wife, this time.

So asking him where his car was, I finished gassing up my Fit ™, and followed him over to his vehicle. There actually was a lady in the driver's seat this time, looking more than a little bit annoyed. So I said sure. Breaking out the debit card, I put five gallons of gas in his tank, which was one more than he said he thought he needed to make it back home.

You might be asking me why I did this, having dealt with this problem so many times over the last few years. Well for one thing, I figured if this couple really was in need, I was doing my good deed for the day. Well, probably the week, really, but at the very least I was helping someone out. I try to think I'm a decent simulation of a human being, and a few gallons of gas at current prices can't hurt all that much.

On the other hand, if this guy was a complete dick fishing for meth money, well, I just ruined his day. I didn't have any cash on hand, having just gotten my check direct deposited a few hours back, so by simply using my card to buy them gas, they still didn't get any meth money for, uh, meth. Thus, either by helping out people in legitimate trouble, or weaponizing charity for my personal amusement, I feel good either way.

Sounds like a win-win for me!

firebomb@obnoxiousjerk.com