Marvel at Red Beast and Blue Beast.
March 24th, 2016
In order to mix things up a bit, what with my having gone on and on about the same thing for the last few days, I suppose I should ramble at you about anything else. After all, I don't even get hate mail any longer, so I suppose I've bored all two of you who regularly bother to pretend to read about the surreality of my existence. Bearing that in mind, I'm going to gibber about my toys.
Not the gigantic plastic tub full of action figures that seems to have made its way to our house when my parents visited earlier this month, however. No, what I'm referring to is my irrationally powerful new flashlights! Well, only one of these is new, I suppose, considering that I got the first last year, but the second one is, at least. But why gibber about flashlights, you ask?
Because they broadcast fancy fun colors, that's why! The original I got my hands on, the red, it is readily blinding. Though I originally purchased it with the foolish notion that it would make for a good 'trying to find things in the dark without utterly destroying my night vision' lamp, it turns out that this thing is probably the second brightest flashlight that I've ever had the pleasure to own.
Thus, when I bring Red Beast to bear, I generally make it a point to point it away from anything I'm actually focusing my vision on, and let reflected light do the job that I thought the torch (as the British would apparently say) would barely be sufficient for. I definitely try to avoid shining Red Beast at a mirror or other, even vaguely reflective surface, or I'll be paying for it.
The blue flashlight, on the other hand, has an advertised brightness that is only 2/3 that of Red Beast. As it so happens, however, it only seems to need 2/3 of the raw brightness involved to cast its light as far, if not further. I'm sure you're thinking 'Duh, Denny, don't you know anything about physics?' And I like to think that I do, since I did pass that class in college.
All one of the physics classes I had, anyway. What can I say, the rest of my work mostly involved mathematics over physics, since we were talking about electronics theory. I recall that I got that degree to avoid having to work on mechanical objects for a living, what with my finding such things inexplicable for some reason, and yet this totally didn't work out the way I intended at all. At all.
Anyway. Blue Beast. Blue Beast is even more eye-piercing than Red Beast. I suppose that makes sense, once again, considering the higher frequency / shorter wavelength of light means that it packs more punch, energetically speaking. But still! That makes using it as an impromptu night light right out. Will I blind myself and walk my balls into the kitchen table? Let's find out!
But despite their eye-watering intensity, I like these things. As you can probably tell, I simply couldn't wait for the inevitable Yellow Springs fog to show up so I could play with them outside. I managed that a month or so back, as you can see from these photos here, at least I think anyway. These things can cast light up to forty feet - in fog conditions!
What's more, they are a great example of the physics of light in action. Red Beast plus Blue Beast equals Purple Baby! Since nobody seems to build purple LED flashlights, I guess this is the only way I'm going to get me some purple light cast around the neighborhood. I assure you, I totally didn't make 'light saber' noises when I was playing with these beams of light out in the dark, neither.
Would I lie to you, all two of my readers? I'm not the lying sort, you know. Sure, I usually take the opportunity to flavor my ridiculous stories with entertaining and expressive turns of phrase, but I don't simply make things up. Oh wait, that's right, I was totally going whoosh whoosh bzyoummmm when running around the yard. So, uh, disregard all of that, if you would be so kind.
The worst thing about having these monstrosities handy is that they tempt me to build tiny rotating police lights, that I can just pin onto each of my shoulders. You know, so I can attach something evocative of a police siren, and pull people over in the hallway. Or on the bike path. Or wherever. Because I'm that easily amused, and don't have enough to do already, apparently.
I suppose that's why my electronics knowledge is a bit rusty. I've been so busy working overtime and squeezing in as much Technoholic time and as much being an adult time and being part of a family time that I haven't really been able to squeeze in any time for the creation (or attempt therein) of inexplicable gadgetry. But that's okay, because at least I'm getting done everything I have to.
Except for that whole 'sleep' thing. Was I supposed to squeeze some of that in, somewhere?