He wants a lap dance.
April 14th, 2016
During the weekend, while we were out running errands, Brenda and I wound up at McDonald's ®. I know I keep saying that I am trying to eat better and lose weight and fit into the slightly smaller clothes eagerly awaiting usage in my closet, but whatever. Jeez. Anyway. We wound up at McDonald's ®, and I ordered, well, probably more than I ought to have. Imagine that.
But as it turns out, they are currently running the Monopoly ™ promotion that they seem to have going every month or so. As an aside, am I the only person that finds it odd that Hasbro ® has the legal monopoly on the commercial use of the term Monopoly ™? Call me crazy, but that seems sort of silly, if you ask me. But then what do I know? I'm not a ginormous corporation!
Anyway. Again. So we peeled off the Monopoly ™ game pieces that were distributed on some of my packaging, and what do you know, I won a McGriddle ™. I don't believe I've ever had a McGriddle ™, but since I'm trying to eat better (yeah yeah, trying, zip it already), I just pocketed them and didn't really think about it. At least until this afternoon.
After work, I had to fill up the Fit ™ anyway, so I was stuck in Vandalia a bit longer than I would have liked. While my commute to and from work is usually pretty uneventful of late, and downright peaceful in fact, the block I have to travel through in this turd of a burg is fraught with peril. It seems everyone in town resents me paying their horrible city payroll taxes, and want to kill me dead.
While I was trapped in town, curiosity got the better of me, and I wound up going to McDonald's ®. I figured that, since they're doing breakfasts all day these days, I would see if they were serving McGriddles ™. Unfortunately, they had no free McGriddles for me. They likely had McGriddles, naturally, but for some reason the free McGriddle ™ coupon I placed in my wallet had vanished.
So I pulled over after abandoning the weird bifurcated drive through lane they employ these days, for whatever fool reason, and tried to dig a little depeer into my wallet. Maybe the tiny winning game pieces had dispersed themselves around my various cards and identifications and promotional whatevers that I hang onto far too long, I thought. No dice! As I prepared to leave, defeated, I saw him.
Angling for someone to get all too cozy with him, Ronald McDonald was giving me the eye. Not about to indulge, I slowly backed away, thus being denied both a McGriddle ™ and an awkward life experience. Mind you, someone else pulled up just a few minutes later, and had a seat next to Ronald. He acted like he was doing something on his laptop, but we both know he really wanted a hug.
A creepy, creepy clown hug.