Kung-Fu Fire Chicken Dong Feathers!

April 15th, 2016

Kung-Fu Fire Chicken!

For reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with what I was going on about in an earlier post, I found myself at the local Toys R Us today. Wait, no, that's not entirely true. In fact, it's completely false! I journeyed to the Toys R Us in the hopes of getting my hands on that elusive Premier Ball toy, with associated Pokémon - even if the latter was surplus to Denny's requirements.

As it turns out, they were all gone. There were some other twentieth anniversary Pokémon critters for sale, but I didn't need anything resembling a Pikachu - at least, not today. Sure, I eventually do need one for my photography on the 13, in regards to one of my many, many nerd projects, but I need different figures entirely. So no, I didn't pick up the one that was available.

Though defeated once more, which is probably a good thing in that it kept me from buying stuff I didn't need at all, something else caught my eye. That would, of course, be a Blaziken action figure. Blaziken, the super ultra mega Kung-Fu fire chicken! Yes, that's really a thing, and I have one or two I really like floating around my Pokémon games somewhere, but that's not the point.

This one, however, is a 'mega' enhanced version of the usual Kung-Fu fire chicken. Which seems wholly redundant, but that's neither here nor there. What horrified me about this toy is that, upon looking very close, I saw that the thing's assembly has distinctly separate dong-feathers. Which makes me truly pity the poor factory worker who had to spend all day attaching chicken dong-feathers to Kung-Fu fire chickens.

Why, Japan, Why.

firebomb@obnoxiousjerk.com