Cognitive. Interference.
April 21st, 2016
It is rare that I actually possess the focus required to be what others consider single-minded. Sure, I can target all of my efforts on a singular task or object or chore or whatever, but focus? That's just something that happens to other people. For the entirety of my life, my brain has always been subject to what I refer to as static - semi-random cognitive interference.
This with my being somewhat incapable of prying some notion or another out of my mind once it gets in there. Even when I am ostensibly incapable of thinking about anything else but whatever it is that I'm trying to accomplish at a given moment of time, static continually radiates into my thought processes, and acts to consistently corrode whatever productivity I've aimed for.
And I'm not even talking about the random, almost automatic responses my brain churns out in response to the raving douchebags I work with, though these clowns do help to set the tone for a lot of the gobbledygook that intrudes on my otherwise sensible thought processes over the majority of the day. Don't worry, though, I'm not about to explode into violence at work or anything.
Recycled graphic to the contrary, I merely fantasize about it around these idiots, if excessively so.
I suppose it doesn't help that I often have any number of windows open in my browser of choice whilst I attempt to write. i'm sure that doesn't help me keep my focus all that much. In my defense, however, I make use of it for research when I'm having trouble thinking of a word I'd like to swap out for a better choice here or there, or perhaps I need to look up, say, an M-60's rate of fire.
It's amazing how much research is necessary to write nerdy things for my nerdy site, really.
What's worse is that I can actually feel myself actively getting stupider as the day grows to a close. Perhaps that means that I'm slowly, slowly starting to adjust to waking up at stupid on the clock every morning for work, in that my body is simply telling me to go to bed, already. But after ten o'clock, I can feel the voices getting louder, and my focus drifting. And this without drugs!
Though if I were on the drugs, I imagine I'd be even less tolerable to be around.