Of Migraines and Men
November 16, 2016
As it happens, I suffer from migraines.
Sure, I get headaches like everyone else, but occasionally they will escalate into something worse. Much worse. It will usually start with an unnatural sensitivity to sound, particularly that emitted by aging fluorescent light bulbs, perhaps a bit of nausea, or even a weird spot just to the right of my center of vision, that looks like old-style television static. And once it starts, the soul-crushing pain almost invariably takes over.
It is important to denote the difference between a headache and a migraine, because most people don't seem to get it - including just about everyone I happen to work with. A headache is just that, minor pain that, despite being saddled with it, still allows you to function. A migraine, on the other hand, is a debilitating occurrence that can flatten even the sturdiest of humans, and can with enough frequency cause serious brain damage.
I'd been meaning to speak to a specialist about these things for years, but never got around to it for, uh, reasons. But now, since our 'out of pocket' expenses for health care have been met, this year seems like the time. Heading to my general practitioner to get referrals for this and something else, I ran into resistance. Sure, he seemed to know what was up with migraines in general, but he ran into his usual stumbling block.
To wit, he insisted that my headaches and migraines would get better if I would just lose weight. My doctor, he likes to prescribe this whenever I ask to him about anything at all. At all. Oh, you've got weird moles? Lose some weight, that'll stop 'em. You've got a blockage in your ear? Just go to the gym a little bit. You've been hit by a car? If you weren't so tubby, maybe you could've dodged the thing, you bucket of Jell-O ™.
I think I gave him the look. The look that I get when my patience for the insipid is all but gone, and my internal editing equipment is either on the fritz or about to be. Which caused him to actually describe what he thought might help, in lieu of a referral to a neurologist or whatever. He said he would have set that up, but it would've taken him months to get me in there. Which tells me that he needs to meet some new neurologists.
Anyhow, after discussing all of this with me, he prescribed a drug that, while ostensibly an anti-depressant, supposedly helps with headache and migraine prevention. Which I find amusing, since anti-depressants tend to cause weight gain - which was precisely what he said my problem was in the first place. But take his anti-depressants I did, and while I haven't gotten fat(ter) just yet, imagine my surprise upon waking this morning.
With a crushing migraine!
So yes, in order for me to get taken seriously by the medical community, I have to be a svelte one hundred and fifty pounds. I guess! So I suppose I now have my motivation to actually get in shape. I've not done a very good job of pursuing that goal this year, but hey. If there's anything that can make me work towards a goal, it's spiting someone else. And I am chock full of spite.
So very, very full of spite.