I Had A Weird Dream 1

September 17, 2008

So I apparently fell asleep while trying to write for work in a haze of eye stabby pain.

The keyboard indents on my face are telling the tale, at least. Apparently i was in a weird mind set, though, for I had the most lucid dream I'd experienced in quite a while. And oddly, unlike all my usual repeat dreams, this one was a completely new one. Basically it started with me and Acers (the Pizza Killer ™ mentioned before) getting neighboring apartments in a building downtown.

Which was kind of cool, 'cause I could mooch off his wireless internet! While moving in we'd met this strange fellow who liked to wear white chalky makeup, who we found liked to go around town and be 'priestly'. It was sort of odd, like that goofball friend you know that got Ordained online and likes to break it out at parties. He'd just babble incoherent rants at crowds and the like.

At first. Well over time it turns out he starts getting followers, see, all of the blonde type. A Blonde Cult. And then he starts marrying them to one another and weird stuff starts going down, including weird murders in the area - all of which were prefaced by a burglary into the victim's home, followed by the emptying of the contents of their fridges and a swath of red paint in their doorways.

It got eerie when the killings got closer and closer to our apartment building, and then started inside the place proper. And we noticed that our culty neighbor type guy was starting to decorate his Blondes in white robes all spraypainted in red. So you know, nervousness! Then, out of the blue, while headed to the bank one day, we saw it being robbed by those clowns.

Then they straight-up murdered everyone inside. Making us the only people who knew what the Blondes were up to. So me'n Acers and this other lady in the building, we decide nope, and got the heck out of Dodge, but then the Blondes come after us. 'Cause you know, we know, and they know we know, and they'd rather not go to jail quite just yet. Their boss wasn't really the Manson martyr type, I guess.

So we're cheesing it and they corner us in the parking lot and apparently my friend Acers had a bag full of Uzi 9mm cannons, and broke them out and went Blonde-ing. They had knives and such but, you know, a butcher knife doesn't stand up to two-fisted machine gun action. So I'm looking at all these Blonde corpses and the cops show up - in true horror story fashion, you know, just a bit too late.

And then they arrest us.

And then I woke up.

The second installment in this series.